


One of Us

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: Before the Awakening - Greg Rucka
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Character Study, M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: “You were wrong, though, too. I am one of us, but not… not us. There isn’t an us. Because you aren’t. You aren’t one of us.”Slip wasn’t saying it to be cruel, FN-2187 knew. He was simply stating a fact.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyKiri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKiri/gifts).



No one was allowed in medical unless they were being treated. FN-2187 remembered once, a long time ago, Nines, before he had been Nines, had broken his leg. FN-2187 had wanted to visit him, to see if he was all right.

He had been quickly relieved of that idea.

When Slip emerged from medical, his helmet off, the blood was gone from his face and his hazel eyes no longer looked unfocused. He was walking smoothly, without the hesitation that had so worried FN-2187 while they were fighting.

“Fixed you up, huh?” FN-2187 said.

Slip moved past him without answering.

“Slip,” FN-2187 said, hurrying after him. “Slip!”

Slip stopped so fast FN-2187 almost bowled into him. “What’d you do that for?”

“Do what?”

“You were gonna let me win. You… you took it _easy_ on me.”

FN-2187 glanced nervously about, even though he knew they were alone. “You were hurt.”

“I don’t need pity!” Slip spat the words out. “Is that why you came back for me in the simulation? Because you thought I couldn’t make it? Because you think I’m _weak_?”

“You’re one of us,” FN-2187 said, because he meant it, he always meant it.

“Captain Phasma doesn’t think so. Captain Phasma thinks I’m a liability.”

“You aren’t.”

“Don’t lie,” Slip said, his mouth in a thin line. “You know as well as I do that I’m close to washing out.”

FN-2187 gripped Slip’s shoulder through his armor. Slip’s gaze darted down to FN-2187’s hand before moving back up to his face. “You can’t listen to Nines and Zeroes. You’ve been… you’ve been doing better. You’re on my team, Slip.”

“For how long?” Slip muttered, moving so that FN-2187’s hand fell away.

“Always.” That was the only thing that mattered. Loyalty. Without that, what else was there? Maybe he and Slip weren’t the same, but maybe that didn’t matter.

Slip’s mouth twisted. “You’re weird, Eight-Seven, you know that?”

“Yeah,” FN-2187 said. “Yeah, I know. Come on, we’ve got to get moving. We’re shipping out.”

And then Slip was smiling. “For real?”

FN-2187 smiled back. “For real.”

-

Slip found him outside the range after their deployment to the mining colony. His helmet was off. He looked happy.

“Thought you were in the galley,” FN-2187 said.

Slip shrugged. “I was. Gonna head back. Just… We’re real troopers now, you know?”

“Yeah.” FN-2187 had thought it would feel different than this. Better.

The veteran had been right. FN-2187 was an outsider and he always would be.

Stepping closer, Slip said, “You were right. I could do it. I _did_ do it.”

“Congratulations.” FN-2187 knew his tone sounded flat. He didn’t know how to fix it.

“You were wrong, though, too. I am one of us, but not… not us. There isn’t an us. Because you aren’t. You aren’t one of us.”

Slip wasn’t saying it to be cruel, FN-2187 knew. He was simply stating a fact.

Maybe Slip was a bit slow, a bit slow in everything. But he fit here, in a way FN-2187 never would. And Slip was quick enough to pick up on that at least.

Now it was Slip who was reaching out, his hand on FN-2187’s shoulder. He was bright-eyed, his pale cheeks flushed. FN-2187 had this… this thought, this _desire,_ but that…

No. He really didn’t belong.

“Talk is we’re picking up a really important guest,” Slip said, voice low like he was imparting a secret. “Some of the guys say it’s _Kylo Ren._ ”

Kylo Ren. That was some guest.

“Wherever we’re headed to next, it’s gonna be big. You can still belong, Eight-Seven. Just like me. You just gotta… You just gotta try. You can’t freeze up.”

Freeze up. Because he hadn’t wanted to murder a bunch of miners who only wanted better lives for themselves.

FN-2187 wondered what Slip would’ve been like somewhere else, somewhere outside the First Order. Maybe they could’ve…

“Yeah,” FN-2187 said, because it seemed like it was what Slip wanted to hear. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try.”

Slip grinned at him. “It’s nice,” he said. “Fitting in.”

It probably was.

It was just that FN-2187 knew it would never happen for him.


End file.
